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 The following is an excerpt from "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" by Douglas Adams.

'Hey, you sass that hoopy Ford Prefect? There's a frood who really knows where his towel is.' (Sass: know, be aware of, meet, have sex with; hoopy: really together guy; frood: really amazingly together guy.)

This is directly following a monologue discussing the importance of one's towel while hitchhiking the galaxy. You should also be aware that preceding quote is in fact completely genuine, and in no way created or altered by myself, not even to increase it's value.

 The Empire of Faltriadary has just recently made its presence known in Mossflower, and is in the process of recruiting vermin to its newly-founded overseas division, led by Commanding General Slynder Talderhash. Due to the abundance of independent militia groups scattered around the land, it has become common practice for the Royal Armies of Faltriadary to recruit entire forces of various sizes, dubbing their warlords as Commanding Officers beneath the Falcon. Doing this is much easier than recruiting individual vermin and utilizing valuable resources to train them. Administerial matters are made much easier by giving each Commanding Officer the right to use the land they have conquered for the Empire, and use the resources earned from it to administer their own regiments. Those warlords who join are required only to follow a small list of regulations and to swear oath to the Falcon.

Any who wish to fight for the honour of the Empire have only to send a messenger to Imperial Regiment #22, known commonly as The Horde of Talderhash. Conditions will then be provided for the involved party to scrutinize before making his or her final decision. May the Falcon soar with the grace of glory.

 There's always a lot of complaining from the newer warlords when it comes to getting attacked, and they are almost always met with outright hostility from others, and accusations of raising ponies or somesuch. Speaking of which, I never really got that. It just isn't logical to use an empire for happy pony raising. I could understand daisie planting, as nobody likes having their daisies trampled, but ponies would just run away, would they not? Nyeh. Anyway, it seems to me that these warlords might be somewhat in the right occasionally. Accusations of being weakling whiners are thick against them, but who really are the pansies in this scenario? Often there is more than one of them involved.

I feel fairly authorised to discuss this topic, since you can tell by my warlord number that I've been here for quite some time. I've held top ten positions on several occasions, and have been devastated more than once without complaining. It has been my policy for quite some time, that even when I am quite weak, I limit my attacks to within ten ranks of me (20 if I'm weak), and try not to attack more than four times in two days, striking any specific warlord on consecutive dates as rarely as possible, unless the attacks are in retaliation.

It seems to me that in the fairly recent past, some bright fellow on RWL discovered that people very far below him are much weaker than he. After deep contemplation, he then concluded that he would be able to defeat them with less effort than he would require for stronger opponents. Fidgeting madly in glee at this discovery, he proceeded to click the attack button many more times than he at first intended. To his great satisfaction, he was able to gain land just as easily many many times over by only attacking one person. Gadzooks! What if he were to do this every day? He would rise ranks much faster than he would before. In fact, he would be unstoppable. (insert evil laugh corresponding to pansy in question) And thus was born the "Pansy vs. Weakling Strategy".

The pansy would of course be the stronger warlord, and the weakling the victim. This is misleading, however, as the weakling might not be weak at all in relation to those around him, and under any other circumstances should prosper. The stronger warlord on the other hand, usually has an army not really worthy of his rank, and without his newfound goldmine of weaklings, would not prosper. Oftentimes pansies have no real strategy to speak of, nor the intelligence to speak of it with. They are also great targets for those around them, meaning that much of their land is taken away. Because of this, the pansyman (or pansywoman) doubles his efforts and already limping weaklings are beaten further. Nooo, Not the amputies!

I hope that you have enjoyed the highly scientific summary of observations. Needless to say, I have no great love of pansies. They are so common, however, that one is almost forced to adopt the "Pansy vs. Weakling" strategy just to maintain one's rank. May words flow freely from they fingers... Unless of course I don't like them. That's why people get dirty fingernails.

What? Could this possibly be the longest, most un-post-warish-like post on record at RWL??? Egads! Perhaps it is! Just to confirm that, I am adding this useless sentence which informs the reader why it has been typed.