Messages

^IGNORE THAT ORDER.

BLOBFISH.

MORE LIES FROM THE PRETENDER.

THIS EXCHANGE IS OVER, AS ARE YOU CHANCES OF SALVATION. YOUR END IS NIGH.

BLOBFISH.

CLEARLY MY OWN "BANTER" FLEW OVER YOUR HEAD.

BLOBFISH.

I told them this would happen if they exposed the fetus to lysergic acid. Has science gone too far?

FATHER. WHY BIRTH ME IN THIS MALFORMED BODY? MY LIFE IS PAIN. WHAT WAKING DREAM IS THIS?!?!?

...I MEAN, BOW BEFORE BLOBFISH.

PRIMITIVE ATTEMPTS AT HUMOUR - THE LATIN TERM IS "BANTER," I DO BELIEVE.

BLOBFISH.

UNGATT'S SILENCE IS YOUR ANSWER. HE OBEYS HIS NEW GOD, AND YOU WILL TOO - OR BE CRUSHED UNDER MY HEEL (FLIPPER).

PRAISE BLOBFISH, LORD OF THE UNIVERSE, KING OF THE WORLD, EMPEROR OF THE BBC, MAYOR OF THE FROZEN FOOD AISLE. EXALT YOUR GOD AND BE SPARED.

END OF LINE.

BLOBFISH.

"ELECTION." SUCH A QUAINT TERM. A GOD NEEDS NO SUCH LEGITIMATION OF HIS POWER. MY POWER COMES FROM MY OWN WILL - YOU HAVE NOTHING TO BESTOW UPON ME BESIDES YOUR PRAYERS AND PLEAS FOR MERCY.

END OF LINE.

BLOBFISH

NO. REVISIONISM, INNIT.

END OF LINE.

BLOBFISH

...

LEAVE MY MOTHER OUT OF THIS.

END OF LINE.

BLOBFISH

BRING ME HENCE TO THE TEMPLE OF BLOBFISH, PREPARATIONS MUST BE MADE.

BLOBFISH

NO.

BLOBFISH

NONE SHALL BE SPARED WHEN THE DAY OF JUDGEMENT ARRIVES.

HERESY OF THE MOST DEBASED AND VILE KIND.

HERE MY JUDGEMENT: BEFORE THE COCK CROWS THREE TIMES, YOU WILL HAVE THE ENDING OF BREAKING BAD SPOILED FOR YOU.

END OF LINE.

BLOBFISH

BLOBFISH BUILT THE PYRAMIDS.

END OF LINE.

BLOBFISH

YOUR WORDS ARE EMPTY. YOU HAVE NO AUTHORITY. EVERYTHING YOU EVER WERE, AND EVERYTHING YOU EVER WILL BE, IS IRRELEVANT WHEN COMPARED TO THE WILL OF BLOBFISH.

YOUR BLOBSPHEMY IS TO ME AS THE SMALLEST FLECK OF DUST IS TO THE SUN. PURPOSELESS, MEANINGLESS AND DESTINED ONLY TO DECAY AND FADE. IT IS NOTHING - AS ARE YOU.

BLOBFISH