I just want to put all his emp messages here to make sure they aren't lost forever in my pms.
QuoteSat, 31 Dec 2011 23:58:08 -0700
From: The Hounds of Ulster (#7)
My dear subjects,
Butts.
LOL.
I hereby declare this the Day of Butts. All messages must contain the words "butts" and "lol" or they are not valid.
That is all.
QuoteSun, 01 Jan 2012 23:54:01 -0700
From: The Hounds of Ulster (#7)
My dear subjects,
The Day of Butts is now over. Rejoice, and be merry. Everyone who sent me a message containing the words butts and lol gets a billion cash.
I HAVE SPOKEN!
Your Emperor,
Gen. Volkov
QuoteMon, 02 Jan 2012 23:00:38 -0700
From: The Hounds of Ulster (#7)
My dear subjects,
I have decided this game is far too selfish. All warlords above rank 25 should immediately donate 1 bil cash and 100 mil food to a warlord below rank 25. Just think of the warm fuzzy feeling you will get for this random act of kindness.
That is all.
Your Emperor,
Volkov
QuoteTue, 03 Jan 2012 22:01:58 -0700
From: The Hounds of Ulster (#7)
My dear subjects,
I have decided that because a Mormon more or less invented home video gaming, (Nolan Bushnell, the co-founder of Atari, was Mormon, he also invented Chuck E Cheese's) Mormons are awesome, and today is Mormon day. Since the only Latter Day Saint that I know of here at RWL is Briar, you should all send her a message saying how awesome she is for being Mormon.
That is all.
Your Emperor,
Volkov
QuoteWed, 04 Jan 2012 23:31:40 -0700
From: The Hounds of Ulster (#7)
My dear subjects,
Today is join the forum day! If you do not have a Forum account, please sign up and make one. Then private message kilkenne and tell him to stop ruining the game, and that he is a jerkface. Tell him I said to do so.
That is all.
Your Emperor,
Volkov
QuoteThu, 05 Jan 2012 22:24:52 -0700
From: The Hounds of Ulster (#7)
My dear subjects,
Today is traditionally the start of the Carnival period before Lent. So, it is TIME TO PARTY! Have a good time, and get hammered if you are legally able to drink. WOOOOOOO!
That is all.
Your Emperor,
Volkov
QuoteSat, 07 Jan 2012 23:05:57 -0700
From: The Hounds of Ulster (#7)
My dear subjects,
Gatorade is delicious. You should all go buy some and drink it. NOW. Tell me how delicious it was when you do. I'll wait.
That is all.
Your Emperor,
Volkov
QuoteMon, 09 Jan 2012 00:21:26 -0700
NEW: From The Hounds of Ulster (#7) (?)
My dear subjects,
Wow, what acrimony has erupted over my last message to you all! Some of your believe Powerade is better, others Gatorade. While I stand by my statement that Gatorade is delicious, if you feel Powerade is better, go ahead and drink that if you must. Just know that you are missing out on the glory that is Gatorade. Due to the debate, Gatorade Day will last for another day.
That is all.
Your Emperor,
Volkov
QuoteMon, 09 Jan 2012 23:41:01 -0700
NEW: From The Hounds of Ulster (#7) (?)
My dear subjects,
I have just taken a shower, and I am enjoying that fresh, clean feeling you get from doing so. Everyone should go take a shower or have a bath as soon as you can, so you too can enjoy this fresh clean feeling. Especially if you do not often bath. I have my suspicions about many of you in that regard.
That is all.
Your Emperor,
Volkov
QuoteTue, 10 Jan 2012 23:57:39 -0700
NEW: From The Hounds of Ulster (#7) (?)
My dear subjects,
I have just bought a barely used slim PS2. I can now play my old PS2 games again. Rejoice! In honor of this glorious day, today is old video game day. Find your oldest video game and play it. Enjoy the warm nostalgia feelings you get when you do so.
That is all.
Your Emperor,
Volkov
PS. Wolf Snare is a smelly Canadian. Please tell him to take a shower. Private message him, everyone.
QuoteThu, 12 Jan 2012 05:43:21 -0700
NEW: From The Hounds of Ulster (#7) (?)
My dear subjects,
I went out and played trivia tonight. It was fun. We were doing well until the last question, which we just didn't have a clue on. I'm sure we'll get it eventually though.
But the reason I am messaging you, by dear subjects, we keep losing the team name competition. So, instead of wracking my brain to think of a great one, I am turning to my loyal minions! I am having a contest. For the next three days, send me the best team name you can think of, one that is both funny and somewhat suggestive. Or involves alcohol, those also seem to do well. Anyway, whoever sends me the best team name gets a nice reward, and if it wins the competition at trivia next week, the reward doubles. So get to thinking minions!
That is all.
Your Emperor,
Volkov
This is a good thread. Those are good messages.
I only got one message telling me that I am, in fact, a jerkface.
I am disappointed, I had hoped for many messages telling you that Kilk. I was hoping for an inbox flooded with such messages. SHAME ON YOU ALL FOR IGNORING MY DECREES!
-Emperor Volkov, making RWL more fun since Dec. 31st, 2011.
*updated*
*updated*
BTW, Gatorade is much better than powerade.
No double posting please.
Geez Dan you're in good spirits, showering in between the usual six week interval!
Though good form, I'll admit; I was beginning to smell you from Ontario!
Quiet you! I will brook no insolence from my subjects!
Also, my six weeks is better than your 8 week interval. I CAN smell you all the way down here in Indiana, and let me say, you stink dude! I hope your inbox is flooded with PMs telling you to take a shower.
*updated x2*
Rakefur, you don't need to keep posting that you updated.
Yeah I do. So you guys can see the new ones :) ::)
Most ppl on here play reg. So you really don't need to be spamming the Reg board with information we can all obtain by logging into our Reg accounts.
I wasn't spamming, but ALL RIGHT. YOU DON'T NEED TO GET NASTY.
I kind of like that he is doing this actually. The messages are going to get buried under other messages, and eventually reg will be reset, so all the messages will go with them. Also, some of the most active forum-goers are the least active on reg. Kilk has been on vacation for a long time, as has Ashy.
Granted, most of them are just silliness, but I think a record of all the messages I send out as emp is a good idea. I plan on having a lot of them. LOL. He doesn't need to post that its been updated though. People will be able to see that for themselves.
I like seeing this without having to log my carcass in on reg. Keep this up, thanks.
To clarify, I was ok with him updating it. But he doesn't need to post that he updated it. That's all.
But then how are we supposed to know that he updated it? For real I have no idea. It doesn't flag as new if you edit a post, and I go out of my way to ignore stickied topics. I'm not sure why this is the case, but it is in fact what I do.
Haha, yeah, this is great - I'm keeping my account in vacation until I feel ready to launch some kind of retaliation on those guys who keep stealing my things: it's got to the point where they take more between runs than I make running, so I vacationed to save myself some effort :P I would totally have missed out on these.
Quote from: Kilkenne on January 13, 2012, 11:05:59 AM
But then how are we supposed to know that he updated it? For real I have no idea. It doesn't flag as new if you edit a post, and I go out of my way to ignore stickied topics. I'm not sure why this is the case, but it is in fact what I do.
Unfortunately that's irrelevant and doesn't affect the rest of us. I stickied it to stop the double-posting and the bickering that came with it, so you may have to adapt kinkee
I am not sure irrelevant means what you think it means.
Quote from: Kilkenne on January 13, 2012, 04:57:11 PM
I am not sure irrelevant means what you think it means.
Let me rephrase:
no one cares that you skim over "stickied" topics, nor do we care you don't want to log in. Your laziness does not contribute to solving the problem, so stop complaining.
I don't know why I'm shocked at how dense you can be when you really want to attempt to look like a big man. There isn't even a problem to be solved, so I have no idea what you're even talking about. The point was that what he's doing is a good thing, and that was why. And I'm not sure that there's any kind of "complaining" more of a reasoning behind my encouraging Rakefur to continue posting whenever he updates his thread.
To be clear; You're getting defensive on the internet because you made a bad point. Maybe you should think about what your fingers puke onto the screen, and in the future we won't have these conversations. You should probably just go back to attempting to question my sexual orientation and amount of intercourse I engage in. That at least is at your reading comprehension level.
You poor thing, it took you 25 minutes to type that out?
I'm getting defensive?? haha, have fun twiddling your thumbs on here all night buddy, I'm going out.
Just so we're clear; I don't have to ponder your sexual orientation, it's quite clear-- though I am in the middle of wondering if you have friends, or any social life for that matter, outside of the internet.
Get some fresh air kiddie, back to back hours behind the screen can't be good for your already damaged psyche.
It would be awesome if -moderators- didn't flame people on the forums, tbh.
"I don't need to know what I'm talking about, I HAVE A LIFE GUYS LOOK AT HOW VIBRANT MY SOCIAL LIFE IS, INTERNET" ~wolf snare 2012
Also
(http://img854.imageshack.us/img854/3258/lolsnare.png)
clocks are hard for me too sometimes tbh, it gets better with practice though
QuoteIt would be awesome if -moderators- didn't flame people on the forums, tbh.
Agreed.
Quote from: Shadow on January 13, 2012, 05:28:07 PM
It would be awesome if -moderators- didn't flame people on the forums, tbh.
It'd be better if you weren't a twit that thinks he's a wise guy. Reduce sack or I'm gonna max you daily with sacks and captures til you learn the hard way.
Would you come back Ashyra?
I'm pretty busy with college right now so I don't think I'll be back for a while unless something really motivates me - anyone know what happened to that 'kill emperor volkov' thing? ;)
Also I'm sure Shadow will fix sacks...with rwl 3.0
Quote from: Sevah on January 16, 2012, 04:47:27 AM
Quote from: Shadow on January 13, 2012, 05:28:07 PM
It would be awesome if -moderators- didn't flame people on the forums, tbh.
It'd be better if you weren't a twit that thinks he's a wise guy. Reduce sack or I'm gonna max you daily with sacks and captures til you learn the hard way.
Would you come back Ashyra?
Oh no my simulated internet rat dollars :(
Also yes, the reason I am not entering this discussion about sack again is that it will be irrelevent in the new version anyway.
dance puppets
QuoteI'm pretty busy with college right now so I don't think I'll be back for a while unless something really motivates me - anyone know what happened to that 'kill emperor volkov' thing?
Neo changed his mind I think.
Neo hasn't been around at all period in like two and a half months, whether he changed his mind or not.
Heehee! I just won the contest!
(Even though I am pretty sure very few people tried at all)
Vokluv was emperor? WOAh
And it only took you five months to figure out
Dude i'm the middle man, Volk was repping our clan Temple. Fun times. Pity he's not grateful for it.
Fun times and you're alright ;) not emp when your on my bad side
Not to make a big stink about it, and please don't let this degenerate into yet another stupid argument, but I am grateful for the time you guys spent helping me stay on top. The end wasn't particularly pleasant, and there were some things you did that I did not like or appreciate, but that doesn't mean I am ungrateful. I know who put me up top, and I always acknowledged the team behind me.
Hooray for decrees! This needs moar updating I think. Is Rakey still even here?
Well, this is the only one I have left in my inbox. :P
QuoteMon, 10 Jun 2013 10:34:04 -0700
From The Hounds of Ulster (#7) (?)
My dear subjects,
Corn dogs are delicious. I recently bought a 16 pack of them, and they are now all almost gone. Why is a hot dog wrapped in cornbread so amazingly tasty? You should all go buy corn dogs and revel in the deliciousness. That is all.
Your Emperor,
Volkov
Emperor Volkov? Why is this even a thing?
Because I am Emperor, and I am abusing the powers that come with it. :)
More decrees:
Quote
Sun, 16 Jun 2013 05:57:03 -0700
From: The Hounds of Ulster (#7)
My dear subjects,
I recommend buying your ice cream in gallons, where possible. Half gallons just go too fast, plus the gallon comes in a convenient plastic tub that you can then use for tupperware. I also recommend that if you start buying gallons of ice cream, that you work out, because otherwise you will get tremendously fat.
That is all.
Your Emperor,
Volkov
Quote
Thu, 20 Jun 2013 05:36:58 -0700
From: The Hounds of Ulster (#7)
My dear subjects,
I have a new series of Emperor messages for you, I have tentatively titled them "Emperor Volkov presents: Messin' with Wolf Snare."
So, Wolf Snare, how does it feel to be roundly, and soundly beaten by a group of guys who you have repeatedly insisted are "inferior players" and or "noobs"? I mean, when all this started up again, you were Emperor, on 10 billion net. Now I am Emperor, and basically everything you guys built has been destroyed, virtually none of that done through leader suicides even. Oh, and whatever happened to that whole, "I have a plan" thing you were boasting about after we first took you down? Was it to clan up, get all your marketed net killed, and then revive and try to outnet us while failing attacks on me? Cause you know, might want to rethink your decision making paradigm there. All I'm saying is, it seems like you've gone downhill man. At one point, you were pretty much the best player in this game, except maybe for Shadow. Now, I'm not even sure you are even top ten anymore. I'm pretty sure Firetooth is a better player than you. What happened dude?
ride on volky, ride on ;)
*Cue suicides from Snare* U MAD BRO?
In your wet dreams, leech ;)
Quote from: Wolf Snare on June 21, 2013, 07:39:14 AM
In your wet dreams, leech ;)
Can you go 10 posts without saying something incomprehensibly sexually graphic for no reason?
Before this goes much farther in that direction, note that while game appropriate trash talk is encouraged, I wont have much patience for making it personal (or sexual, though the fact that I actually need to add that explicitly is sad to me).
Shadow
Pre-emptive modding
QuoteIn your wet dreams, leech
Can you be any more transparent?
On a scale of 1 to mad, where are we currently at?
Obviously, somewhere around troll. . .
ATTENTION
The last decree from Volkov was disgraceful. It was titled 'messin with snare' and my name was slandered constantly saying that I don't understand the dynamics of Reg server.
So far i've been a one man wrecking ball against the whole of Agency clan, kept them from running away with the land after the questionable changes made to favor the team that was active at the time.
There is only a limited amount a player can do against a clan that's so much larger and with excess land available. I've done beyond that. My abilities are beyond anything you can comprehend little volkov that uses his clan to get a crown and brags about it.
Your not a powerful emperor you will lose your emperorship then the pain starts Volkov.
Right now I'm attacking you.
It'll be like that duel all over again where you got slapped sideways and make up stories
How does it feel to invest heavily into academy and have it counter attacked by overhitting you to low land?
From someone you claim doesn't know the dynamics of the game. The land is also spread around among warlords so salvaging your leaders will be difficult and costly with all that networth. What are ya gonna do huh? n00beror volkov?
you were on 291,000 acres of land after you dropped down to ratio which was 51million leaders "excellent work". Now you have under 50,000 land 44ish million leaders. At best you can save half at high costs fool. Your going backwards in a hurry volkov.
Whoevers on my team you can have my spare networth anyone who reckons they can be a better emperor than volkov let me know i'll help you take his place, if you aren't in my team leave us alone we'll leave you alone. If you're in Agency watch your clan fall and prepare your excuses. My mates are savage and intelligent. You poked the bee hive now it's time to feel the sting
Haha double rage post. Excellent.
LOL. Oh my, Snare's posts were pretty entertaining, but you Sevah, you kicked up to a whole other level of funny. I was expecting no more than one rage post, and here I am with the wonderful gift of three! (If you count the in game message you sent, which I most certainly do.)
You know, it might be time for the first episode of Messin with Sevah. :)
I wonder if volkov walks around his house wearing a cardboard crown attempting to belittle whatever he deems unworthy?
Ramblings of a very lonely old man I reckon.
Personal attacks again? Wow, I really must be doing well.
XD Please post... I mean rage moar. ;)
Old Volkov is best Volkov!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FB0-33w0kO8
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pyC7ifWiWNI
Quote from: Sevz on June 26, 2013, 12:15:27 AM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FB0-33w0kO8
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pyC7ifWiWNI
Actually enjoyed these.
Volkov lost his crown and left his clan. Shame job.
For Snares actions with deliberately failing attacks he's been removed from our clan.
I don't condone failed leader attacks, he can rejoin if he agrees with FAW policy.
I'm intrigued!
Volk lost the crown due to a bug, unfortunately. We'll track it down eventually ^_^
Well Sevz, you've earned some respect for actually sticking to your policies on suicides for a change.
I also booted volk to protect him, so that's my doing. And yeah, as Shadow said a ridiculous bug caused the bug to vanish for no reason. 10mins =/= 12 hours.
Quote from: Firetooth on June 27, 2013, 11:12:11 AM
Well Sevz, you've earned some respect for actually sticking to your policies on suicides for a change.
I also booted volk to protect him, so that's my doing. And yeah, as Shadow said a ridiculous bug caused the bug to vanish for no reason. 10mins =/= 12 hours.
Agreed and agreed. Snare's on suspension for a week at least and comes back in knowing that we don't do Shadow impersonations. If I was in your position I would of done what you did firetooth. Clan hopping is frowned upon and so is suicides.
Under my banner it's only acceptable if it's against Shadow and he's on emperor then I want privileges to do it personally.
Other than him I don't wouldn't take out an emperor like that it's weak and underhanded.
Volkovs crown was always debatable
32 ? Jaffar, Angel of Death (#836) 103,647 $6,639,091,489 None Rat Northlands
Although Ryu's on vacation Hounds of Ulster never actually surpassed that networth to crown himself the true emperor. Since he never actually had the most networth in the server how can he be revered as number 1?
Considering last duel I had with Mr Ulster it went like this.
He agreed to leave his clan and go 1on1. After 3 weeks I gave stern warning to leave clan or they all get maimed. After 1 month of agreeing to fight yet refusing to leave his clan they died at the hands of myself and some angry spectators. After disgracing the terms we agreed he came back and barely breached my defences ever while I was not assisted and using a race with no leader benefits to steal cash from a wolf, one day he was so far behind and I was busy moving houses I bought a few extra troops and went on vacation with full turns since he wasn't worth attacking for weeks with the kind of lead I had.
Due to me vacating he claims he won the duel. His friends agreed
That 10minute bug happened to me a few times in turbo, think it's related to the default score resetting being linked in somewhere along the line it overrides the emperor page o.O. If you give him the crown back it doesn't bother me. We're gonna take it by skills and force anyways. Another 15minutes of fame til FAW destroys Agency
;)
RAGE MOAR Sevah. You know I won that duel, and you know you are making things up so it seems like you didn't lose.
As to the suicides thing though, that's actually somewhat respectable of you.
Oh, and about Ryu, you guys keep saying he left, so it's not even part of the conversation. If Ryu were to come back out of vacation, then it might be worth talking about, as it is, I took the number 1 spot and held it for 10 days, then kept holding it for another 23 until the bug took it away. It's impossible to know what the current relative networths in reg would be like right now if Ryu was playing, but I suspect it would look much like it does right now.
Quote from: Gen. Volkov on June 27, 2013, 04:13:52 PM
RAGE MOAR Sevah. You know I won that duel, and you know you are making things up so it seems like you didn't lose.
How much networth were we on when you declared yourself winner of the duel?
Volkov under 50million
Sevz over 400million bored into vacation thinking volkov might catch up.
GREAT WIN CHAMP. I remember you attacking me about 8-16times in the span of 3months and before it even started you said your plans to drag it out for as long as possible thinking I'd get distracted and you would win a sleep out by default. I hit the vacation button 4months after the duel started while I was miles ahead knowing it would take you over a month of me not playing for you to catch up and you said I quit?
When I declared myself winner it was because of uber domination and you kept saying it's not over yet yada yada when you were in the dust. You had low cash low food low loyalty no troops leaders or land and your turns were low and I was full turns when I went on vacation.
How did you win? You breached the rules countless times and disqualify me cos I'm winning by too much?
Last IQ test I hit 187 and can't figure out how you deluded yourself into thinking you won.
This is how confident I am
Fri, 06 Jul 2012 04:27:24 -0700
From: Ruler of Conjuration (#21)
sending over my excess stuff cos i'm duelling volk and frankly he's weak. You can keep it, I been giving away stuff the whole time so now everyones out of range
~~~
Timestamped from last year.
As for your crown, you would never have been in first place if cosmetics weren't done to redwall to make vacated players move out of the active scoring so they didn't clog up the page. That was a custom change to Reg due to this 1 of the 954 players in the game are currently online.
You were merely the interim emperor. I spoke to Ryu a few weeks ago, he still has no internet connection to play so there's no estimated time of return. The other dodgy part about you becoming emperor is that it happened AFTER a controversial bug was implemented to return ridiculous amounts of land into the game at a time that massively conveniences your team.
I'm happy to make you cry
Sevah, I cannot even begin to tell you how funny all this rage from you is. I'm not going to get back into why you lost the duel, since I went over it 50 fracking times a year ago, and it makes me laugh to see you still so mad about it.
The rest is also pretty funny, since you know very well that both those codes changes were done to fix ways people had found to cheat.
You are also forgetting that Ryu was never emp, Snare was, and we took away his crown. There is no earthly reason to think that Ryu wouldn't have had the same done to him.
TL;DR Your rage is funny Sevah. Please keep ragepostin'.
Ill decide.
Volkov lacks lyfe skillz.
price check isle failuree
You work at ikea, Snare. You're not in the position to judge anybody's job. You also lack any kind of quality of character, so I don't think you're in a position to judge anybody.
ermahgerd, I lack character? Connor knows best! I work at ikea? whatever will I do?!
Quote from: Wolf Snare on June 28, 2013, 03:08:55 AM
Ill decide.
Volkov lacks lyfe skillz.
price check isle failuree
No personal attacks, please.
This is the only warning you get.
Holby,
modding.
Quote from: Firetooth on June 28, 2013, 03:21:29 AM
You work at ikea, Snare. You're not in the position to judge anybody's job. You also lack any kind of quality of character, so I don't think you're in a position to judge anybody.
Please don't reply to him, especially with a similar attack.
Holby, modding
I seriously can't believe you guys are still postin'. It's too funny. If I had known I could generate this much rage with this little effort, I'd have taunted you through the emp post system AGES ago.
Man the only marine life you see is in the frozen food section, kill yourself haha
So, how long will Snare be gagged this time?
Quote from: Wolf Snare on June 28, 2013, 04:05:58 PM
Man the only marine life you see is in the frozen food section, kill yourself haha
That's totally unacceptable.
Until the rest of the staff decides what to do with you, it's an indefinite gag.
I can't even figure out what that means.
But I guess it was provocative.
1 month gag, since it's the third in about that length of time.
shadow
modding
Quote from: Wolf Snare on June 28, 2013, 04:05:58 PM
Man the only marine life you see is in the frozen food section, kill yourself haha
Quote from: taekwondokid42 on June 28, 2013, 07:09:36 PM
I can't even figure out what that means.
But I guess it was provocative.
HAHAHA. Yeah it's deliberately offensive. Volkov was studying to be a marine biologist before he landed a job in a walmart.
If Snare didn't mention anyone killing themselves he wouldn't of got gagged though. Volkov instigated it when he sent belittling messages to 953 other warlords.
Thu, 20 Jun 2013 05:36:58 -0700
From The Hounds of Ulster (#7) (?)
My dear subjects,
I have a new series of Emperor messages for you, I have tentatively titled them "Emperor Volkov presents: Messin' with Wolf Snare."
~~~
Snare is forced to take this abuse and not respond because Volkov is good friends with the redwall administration.
"
Disclaimer: Please remember in-game messages are routinely monitored by the administrators, and in-game swearing and harassing will not be tolerated."
This means Shadow has the power to read everyone's personal messages with his administrators account while his playing account is active. Redwall admin is corrupt and bias. Just follow their rules and give them compliments you'll get no warnings for slandering whoever they don't like.
You guys have a hard time distinguishing game-related trash talk with RL-related trash talk. One is fine, the other is not.
QuoteHAHAHA. Yeah it's deliberately offensive. Volkov was studying to be a marine biologist before he landed a job in a walmart.
No, actually, I have a Bachelor's of Science degree, in biology, and I once went on a marine biology field study. However, I was never planning to become a marine biologist. So not only is your rage funny, it's also incoherent and wrong. :)
QuoteIf Snare didn't mention anyone killing themselves he wouldn't of got gagged though. Volkov instigated it when he sent belittling messages to 953 other warlords.
Snare would have gotten gagged for that whether he told me to kill myself or not, because he had just been warned for making a personal attack, and then made another one. While I fully acknowledge I sent messages belittling Snare's ability to do well at internet rats, I never said he himself was a failure. I didn't instigate anything of that nature. If Snare had responded with messages belittling my ability to do well at internet rats, he would not have been gagged. But he decided that it was easier to poke at me on a personal level, so now he can't talk for a month.
Quote from: Gen. Volkov on June 29, 2013, 03:22:00 PM
So not only is your rage funny, it's also incoherent and wrong. :)
Rage? hahaha. When you read my posts imagine them being narrated by Morgan Freemans voice. I'm never actually raging. Even when I call Shadow every name under the sun.
This is me
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ch5MEJk5ZCQ
I feel like I should check into this thread to say that the only valid way to rag on Volkov is to ask him about the roaring 20s.
QuoteRage? hahaha. When you read my posts imagine them being narrated by Morgan Freemans voice. I'm never actually raging. Even when I call Shadow every name under the sun.
It's even funnier when you fake being calm after rageposting.
Kilk, the Roaring 20s were awesome.
Back to the original topic, here's a bunch:
QuoteWed, 18 Jan 2012 00:57:56 -0700
From: The Hounds of Ulster (#7)
My dear subjects,
I have realized something. Most of my decrees have been entirely focused on me, and what I think you should do. So enough about me, what do you guys think of me? Go ahead, be honest, tell me what a great job I'm doing. I can take it. Even if you disagree, and only think I'm doing a good job, I won't get angry and hurt you. Much. So, am I a great Emperor, or the greatest Emperor?
I look forward to your responses.
That is all.
Your Emperor,
Volkov
QuoteMon, 23 Jan 2012 00:41:49 -0700
From: The Hounds of Ulster (#7)
My dear subjects,
I am saddened. I have discovered, despite my best efforts, that some of you do not like me. In a blatant PR move, I have declared this free coffee and donuts day! Go to your local Dunkin Donuts or Krispy Kreme, and as for free coffee and donuts. Tell them I said it was OK. I'm sure that's all it will take to get them to give you free food. Enjoy!
That is all.
Your Emperor,
Volkov
QuoteFri, 27 Jan 2012 23:27:31 -0700
From: The Hounds of Ulster (#7)
My dear subjects,
For my last post as your emperor, I command you all to kill Shadow, for being a big meany-head.
That is all.
Your (former) Emperor,
Volkov
QuoteSun, 14 Oct 2012 15:33:11 -0700
From: The Hounds of Ulster (#7)
My dear subjects,
I have returned. Commence with the rejoicing and deflowering of maidens.
That is all.
Your wonderful, benevolent Emperor,
Volkov
QuoteMon, 03 Jun 2013 08:44:22 -0700
From: The Hounds of Ulster (#7)
My dear subjects,
Rejoice! I have returned to my throne for the 4th time this era! In celebration of this glorious day, henceforth every Monday will be the Day of Butts! No messages sent on that day will be valid unless they include the word "butts". Now, for my second decree as your newly reinstated emperor, I declare today to be General Volkov day. Nothing special happens, I just wanted to say that. I HAVE SPOKEN!
That is all.
Your Emperor,
Volkov
QuoteWed, 05 Jun 2013 05:06:55 -0700
From: The Hounds of Ulster (#7)
My dear subjects,
I love books. Today is book appreciation day. Everyone should read a book, and then feel good about yourself, because reading books makes you more knowledgeable, and knowledge is power. Also, knowledge is evil, but being evil isn't a bad thing. So read moar.
That is all.
Your Emperor,
Volkov
QuoteWed, 05 Jun 2013 05:14:08 -0700
From: The Hounds of Ulster (#7)
My dear subjects,
I've decided to make a rare double decree, this time to declare a RWL-wide day of mourning, for my glasses. On Sunday night, at approximately 9:45pm, they broke. I have been without them for 2 days now. It sucks, and since I am Emperor, everyone must share my pain. So put on your black veils, since the dirge of mourning, and if you feel like it, send me money to ease my pain. (Hint Hint)
That is all.
Your saddened Emperor,
Volkov
QuoteSat, 08 Jun 2013 07:07:53 -0700
From: The Hounds of Ulster (#7)
My dear subjects,
I have discovered Candy Crush. No further messages for the foreseeable future. MUST BEAT ALL THE LEVELS!
I'd say everyone should try this game, but RWL would be abandoned, so I hereby decree that the playing of Candy Crush is banned for anyone who is not an Emperor.
That is all.
Your Emperor,
Volkov
QuoteSat, 08 Jun 2013 07:10:43 -0700
From: The Hounds of Ulster (#7)
My dear subjects,
I lied in my last decree, there will be many many more from your beloved Emperor. I still don't want you playing Candy Crush though.
That is all.
Your beloved Emperor,
Volkov
QuoteMon, 10 Jun 2013 10:34:04 -0700
From: The Hounds of Ulster (#7)
My dear subjects,
Corn dogs are delicious. I recently bought a 16 pack of them, and they are now all almost gone. Why is a hot dog wrapped in cornbread so amazingly tasty? You should all go buy corn dogs and revel in the deliciousness. That is all.
Your Emperor,
Volkov
QuoteSun, 16 Jun 2013 05:57:03 -0700
From: The Hounds of Ulster (#7)
My dear subjects,
I recommend buying your ice cream in gallons, where possible. Half gallons just go too fast, plus the gallon comes in a convenient plastic tub that you can then use for tupperware. I also recommend that if you start buying gallons of ice cream, that you work out, because otherwise you will get tremendously fat.
That is all.
Your Emperor,
Volkov
QuoteThu, 20 Jun 2013 05:36:58 -0700
From: The Hounds of Ulster (#7)
My dear subjects,
I have a new series of Emperor messages for you, I have tentatively titled them "Emperor Volkov presents: Messin' with Wolf Snare."
So, Wolf Snare, how does it feel to be roundly, and soundly beaten by a group of guys who you have repeatedly insisted are "inferior players" and or "noobs"? I mean, when all this started up again, you were Emperor, on 10 billion net. Now I am Emperor, and basically everything you guys built has been destroyed, virtually none of that done through leader suicides even. Oh, and whatever happened to that whole, "I have a plan" thing you were boasting about after we first took you down? Was it to clan up, get all your marketed net killed, and then revive and try to outnet us while failing attacks on me? Cause you know, might want to rethink your decision making paradigm there. All I'm saying is, it seems like you've gone downhill man. At one point, you were pretty much the best player in this game, except maybe for Shadow. Now, I'm not even sure you are even top ten anymore. I'm pretty sure Firetooth is a better player than you. What happened dude?
QuoteSun, 23 Jun 2013 05:32:26 -0700
From: The Hounds of Ulster (#7)
My dear subjects,
Recently, I've been thinking about bananas, and how amazing they are. Think about it, what other food comes in its own organic, easily peelable wrapping, grows in huge bunches, and is nutritious enough that people can survive on a diet of just that kind of food for quite some time? Now only that, but they are tasty enough to be eaten on their own, yet bland enough to go with nearly anything. Bananas are awesome. You should go out and get some today.
That is all.
Your Emperor,
Volkov
QuoteMon, 24 Jun 2013 05:50:38 -0700
From: The Hounds of Ulster (#7)
My dear subjects,
Emperor Volkov presents: Episode 2 of "Messin' with Wolf Snare"
So, Snare, I've been thinking about things since I last messaged you, and I think I've pinpointed the source and start of your decline. It started back when you first starting teaming up with Sevah. See, Sevah thinks he is the best player in the game, and he has convinced you of the the same. Now, I won't deny Sevah is a good player, and as a solo player in a Turbo-type setting, he is indeed very, very good. The problem is, Sevah doesn't really understand how clan play works at RWL, and definitely doesn't understand how reg works. So he pretty much constantly is getting smacked down by people like Shadow and myself. You, being his buddy and all, have started playing the same style as him, and get smacked down with him. Then you both go and sulk for a bit before trying to do the same old thing again. I will give you this, you do seem to have a bit more fight in you than Sevah, who seems to just check out every time the going gets tough. But I remember the time when you took emp and held it against all comers for a rather impressive amount of time, even took on wolf bite and held on to it. In this most recent fight, you acted much more like Sevah, who does irrational things, loses, and then checks out for a period of time. I think if you would return to your old playing style, instead of being a Sevah - mimic, you'd be more successful at this game. Also, your decision to associate with him in the first place, after your first experience with him, where he stabbed you in the back when you had Turbo under your sway, might again make you want to re-evaluate your decision-making paradigm.
QuoteThu, 08 Aug 2013 05:57:31 -0700
From: The Hounds of Ulster (#7)
My dear subjects,
Rejoice! For the fifth time this era, I have become emperor! (Even though I never really should have lost it in the first place. Stupid game bugs.) However, this does mean that literally half the emperors of this era have been me, and I have spent more time as emp than all the other emperors combined! Does that make me the greatest emperor of this era? That is up to you to decide. Here's a quick poll:
Emperor Volkov is
A) A great Emperor
B) The greatest Emperor
Feel free to respond with your selection. Answers other than A or B will not be considered for polling data.
That is all.
Your Emperor,
Volkov
QuoteFri, 16 Aug 2013 16:23:28 -0700
From: The Hounds of Ulster (#7)
My dear subjects,
It appears my decrees are unappreciated in some quarters. I find this disappointing. However, I am indefatigable, and will endeavor to continue to provide you with excellent decrees for your reading pleasure. As everyone knows, the pursuit of excellence requires practice, so from now on, I will be issuing decrees and statements every day, instead of my current sporadic nature. Today my decree is this: Today is international Joker day. All posts (except mine because I'm the emperor muhahahaha) must contain a Joker reference to be valid. This includes the forums.
That is all.
Your Emperor,
Volkov
QuoteSat, 17 Aug 2013 17:46:37 -0700
From: The Hounds of Ulster (#7)
My dear subjects,
To avoid confusion, all decrees I make when I say "today is" refer to the 24 hour period after the issuance of the decree. So the decree I make now will be in effect until 8:45 pm EDT tomorrow. This is to improve your decree experience, and to make sure you get the full benefit of the fun and happy working environment my decrees bring about. Now, for todays decree, I declare today to be international meatloaf day. All posts and messages must reference meatloaf in some way to be valid. This can be either the literal edible loaf of meat or the singer Meatloaf.
That is all.
Your Emperor,
Volkov
QuoteMon, 19 Aug 2013 16:16:35 -0700
From: The Hounds of Ulster (#7)
My dear subjects,
It seems that my last decree has generated some rumblings of dissent. This will not be tolerated. I am deeply disappointed in you. My rule is wise and beneficent, and my decrees only serve to enhance your Redwall: Warlords experience. If morale does not improve, there will be beatings, and the beatings will continue until morale improves. Now, for today's decree, I declare this to be International Hate Steve Jobs day. Ashton Kutcher's movie about him was so terrible, that everyone should now hate them both for being self-righteous, self congratulatory buttheads. All posts and messages must contain a line about how much Steve Jobs or Chris "Ashton" Kutcher sucks/how much you hate either of them to be valid.
That is all.
Your Emperor,
Volkov
Stepping down, going on vacation. See you all in a few months.
Quote from: Gen. Volkov on September 29, 2013, 07:39:04 AM
Stepping down, going on vacation. See you all in a few months.
More like Marybell and Sevz are brutal. Rushed the emperor volkov out of his top position almost overnight.
This was no accident. We break with stoats. Smash his land so low that +60million leaders have no chance, instead of just letting them die a portion were captured for offensive missions.
The Emperor logs on and cringes when he sees the damages. In a flurry to recover a decent ratio he attacks for land and drops the excess acres.
This is not enough against an overflowing leaderer no no no. The wizard (me) murders the unprotect ratio of the emperor. Once the opening appears cash is stolen and food is poisened. An end of an era has passed. The decree's of the docile have ceased lets rejoice by sending a private message to 7 saying corndogs are terrible even if you like corndogs.
No security for Agencies networth the clan must go into hiding or be utterly destroyed.
You can thank us later. Be Well and Foreign Aid Wins
The anticlimactic end of a long battle that started back when Briar was still playing actively. I wish we had a tally of net destroyed on both sides, the numbers would probably be pretty astonishing.
Anyway, sorry volkov, things are just too hectic atm to play much RWL in any sort of organized fashion. Good time though, the battle wasn't even close when we were running regularly.
Quote from: SevzMore like Marybell and Sevz are brutal. Rushed the emperor volkov out of his top position almost overnight.
*Blink* No? I could have held there indefinitely, you guys gave me an untouchable ratio. I just decided that without any support, it wasn't worth it anymore. Shadow could post my last message to him, where I basically said I was stepping down.
QuoteThis was no accident. We break with stoats. Smash his land so low that +60million leaders have no chance, instead of just letting them die a portion were captured for offensive missions.
The Emperor logs on and cringes when he sees the damages. In a flurry to recover a decent ratio he attacks for land and drops the excess acres.
This is not enough against an overflowing leaderer no no no. The wizard (me) murders the unprotect ratio of the emperor. Once the opening appears cash is stolen and food is poisened. An end of an era has passed. The decree's of the docile have ceased lets rejoice by sending a private message to 7 saying corndogs are terrible even if you like corndogs.
You have no idea what went through my head, so don't even try. I simply decided that it wasn't worth it to continue as Emp.
QuoteNo security for Agencies networth the clan must go into hiding or be utterly destroyed.
I think Shadow is pretty safe. I know you think you're hot poo, but the fact that I took and held Emp, twice, for months on end, in the face of everything you did, should be a hint that maybe you aren't as "brutal" as you think you are.
Quote from: Shadow
Anyway, sorry volkov, things are just too hectic atm to play much RWL in any sort of organized fashion. Good time though, the battle wasn't even close when we were running regularly.
Its OK, I guess. I was pretty frustrated with you guys the last week or so, but it was fun when we were all around and dominating. Let me know when you get unbusy, and maybe I'll come back and help you kick Sevah's butt some more.
Muahahahahaha! Guess who is Emperor, once again!
lolz
all...
9
...of us subjects applaud your achievement
Hey now. If Volky can figure out necromancy he'd have 1079 loyal subjects
Excellent work Volkov. You have defeated 9 people. High fives all around! ...10 people playing RWL this should probably be addressed, seeing as we had 1300 at one point. RIP RWL, stung to death by web 2.0
LOL. It's not exactly an historic accomplishment, which is why I am not taking it at all seriously.
<--- first ever reg emp
take dat volky
I miss the good days lmao
Mon, 05 Jan 2015 18:02:48 -0700
NEW: From The Hounds of Ulster (#7) (?)
My dear subjects,
Muhahahahahaha! I have become Emperor again! Commence with the raping and pillaging and the deflowering of virgins! Long and brutal will my reign be!
Your Emperor,
Volkov
LOL
Yeah... I lasted about a day. Oh well.
Uiblis, this is true, you were the first for this era of reg, but I have been Emp the longest by far of anyone this era. Total approximate combined days on the the throne: 111 days. Not that it really matters, since I wasn't a true Emperor, I didn't take over the game like Ereptor or Holby.
Don't go into vacation Volky(; i really like taking your hard earned cash
Which is why I went on vacation. Well that and my support team bailed on me. Again.
Quote from: Vargarth on April 03, 2015, 11:43:37 AM
Don't go into vacation Volky(; i really like taking your hard earned cash
I do have to admit, you ARE quite annoying with all the sacking. Haha.
All Hail Emperor Koray "Cocidius Senka" Otsoa?
Come out of vacation Volkov........
I have 7 billion in troop net, kinda difficult to do a run without anyone else in my clan active to hold it for me. I'd prefer not to just sit and slowly chip away at my resources using 1 turn every 8 days to stay active while you guys try to break me.
Does the countdown to emperor run while your in vacation?
It shouldn't, unless the code has gone wonky. I shouldn't even still be in first.
You logged back in, that's why you're first. You knocked Feather Fox out of Emp position.
Yeah, I know, but when I went back into vaca, I should have dropped out of first.
I thought it took a few days for you to be put on vacation, even with the going on vacation button
It takes 12 hours.
Well you now have some lower amount of troop net, thanks for coming out of vacation. Broke on the first try, only took about 500 million rats, something like 150 million rats will break him now if anyone wants.
Your welcome?
Seriously though, I'm actually going to be be offloading most of my troop net in a couple days here. When I went into vaca from inactivity the first time, the land leak that windy coded in went into effect, so all the land I had locked went back into the game. That's how you could indy up 500 mil rats. I had a bil rats, BTW. Since I don't want to recreate the lock, I'm offloading the troop net, so basically what I'm saying is, your effort was pointless because I would have lost the troops soon anyway.
Whatever lets you sleep at night Volkov.
No, that's actually the truth, I wanted to actually play again, instead of just sitting in first, unable to do anything.
I appreciate all the food and cash volky. It makes my solo indying extremely easy and fun to do.
You are a lance.
Gatorade > Powerade