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Messages - Sevz

#31
Reg Discussion / Re: Emperor Lask Frildur
April 14, 2018, 12:12:00 PM
Quote from: Shadow on April 13, 2018, 09:39:52 AM
Lask Frildur surveyed his armies, arranged in a perfect circle around his vast pile of gold and food. His top general, a weasel, approached and saluted.
"We're all set up as you indicated, sir. But I don't understand, what are we doing here?"
"Guarding the gold and food, obviously", replied Lask.
"But sir, there seem to be several active warbands in the immediate vicinity. Would it not make more sense to simply crush them? We certainly have the numbers for it", said the general.
"No, you fool", said Lask, "We're going to sit here and let them throw themselves at us".
"But why, sir? We have no way to resupply, and they seem to be able to produce millions of troops out of thin air without actually having to pay any of them, somehow. Eventually they'll overtake us".
"IDIOT", roared Lask. "If we take any action we'll have to pay and feed our armies. As long as they just stand there the gold and food stay intact. I like seeing all those zeroes. This is perfect. We're not going to move".
A scout approached the two and saluted. "Sir, there is a small force of stoats approaching from the south".
Lask stroked his chin for a moment then snapped his claws. "Wait until they attack us, and only use our stoats to defend the attack" he directed.
"But sir", asked the general, "surely it makes more sense to send the full force?".
Lask eyeballed him, wondering how such an idiot became his top general. "Only stoats can kill other stoats you idiot, everyone knows that.".
The general sighed and issued the necessary orders. "What next, sir?" He asked.
"Next nothing!" yelled Lask. "You now see the brilliance of my plan! As long as our armies are only defending, I don't have to pay and feed them! I'll be rich forever!"
"Sir, that doesn't make any sense.." stated the general, but Lask, having had enough, ran him through with his sword.
"I'm going to go lie down on my gold and food pile", announced Lask to nobody in particular. "You all just stand there and defend it."

While Frildur Lask was marveling over his glorious piles of gold and abundance of food, the greed overshadowed his judgement and began to consume him. Word about the murder quietly spread like wildfire among the armies of the emperor.

Suddenly it struck him.
He wanted MORE GOLD.
Lask organized a meeting
His newly appointed general stepped forward and announced, "Here is our private council, Master" "Can I have my rewa..." *Gasp*
*Lask rips out his sword and swiftly killed the weasel
The stench of silence was intensely deafening.
Lask leering at the small group with a grin of seething evil.
He calmly speaks "This meeting is top secret and betrayal will result in a far more gruesome death than what you just witnessed." They all nod along in disbelief. "I WANT ALL THE GOLD AND THAT IS WHY YOU ARE HERE"
Among the group were wealthy international emperors, foreign affair ministers, diplomats, fearless mercenaries and the finest warriors from across the region. Everyone with power was ordered to serve the almighty emperor.
Lask gives the order "MAKE ME UNFATHOMABLY WEALTHY, CUT ALL UNNECESSARY COSTS AND MAKE MY EMPEROR EXPAND" "I'm going to lie down on my piles of gold, I'll return in 3hours and I better have infallible results"

~~~
  Meanwhile.
A silent Rebellion started to stir among the outskirts of the emperors lands. Word about the emperors vile ways finally reached the slums.
During a town meeting the people were in a state of panic. The despair among the community was growing rapidly and nobody felt safe.
There was ideas to flea the toxic wastelands they called home for so many years. Women and children were crying while the men were trembling in fear. Fighting back was not an option.
A lowly general convincingly says to the town people "If we stay here the Lord Frildur Lask will take our gold and food, we will become slaves or even worse we'll be tortured and killed. Our only chance for survival is capitulation." "Tonight, gather your belongings and prepare for retreat, we travel south at the crack of dawn"

The lamentation of the people grew louder as they began to disperse back to their huts.


Abruptly:
A deep voice shouts *"WAIT A SECOND YOU PEASANTS AND COWARDS"*
The town rallies against the figure, this time belligerent with anger. Someone shouts "Who are you?"

The mysterious soldier jumps of his horse and smugly announces: "The Cavalry has arrived"
*Someone else throws a piece of fruit at him and in the blink of an eye he slices it in half with precision.*

"IS THIS WHO YOU TRULY ARE? A BUNCH OF COWARDS LISTENING TO THIS PUNY PLEB?" *Pushes the lowly general to the ground "DO YOU REALLY WANT TO ABANDON YOUR HOMELAND AND BE FOREVER REMEMBERED FOR THE LOUSY PEASANTS THAT YOU ARE?" "RUN WITH YOUR TAILS TUCKED?" **laughs** "If you run you will be chased down and slaughtered no matter where you go"

"WE NEED TO UNITE"
A heckler yells "We can't win".
*SILENCE YOU FEEBLE MAGGOT"
"I am the Lord Sevz and you will fight for the future of our people"
"Join me and we can restore peace, wealth to our families, we can take our lands back and live in harmony. Defy me and you will never feel tranquility or freedom."

"My spies have infiltrated the Lask emperor and are working towards taking it out from the inside" "They are in a secret meeting as we speak"
*A messenger pigeon lands*
Lord Sevz smiles.
"Rest up my friends. We prepare for war at the crack of dawn"

~~~
Meanwhile back at the ranch.

Lask returns to the council chambers and in a demanding voice asks. "What is to the outcome?" "Where is the gold?"

Emperor Chen Ping Fei explains "We can raise taxes on peasants. Each turn they move we force them to pay us"
Lask nods. "Yes, that will work very well."

He turns to the next emperor and asks "What have you got for me?"
Emperor Zork responds "We can also take their food, In the south they produce delicious food and have no way to defend it"
Lask nods again. "Yes, that will work very well"

He turns to the other emperor and asks, "What have you got for me?"
Emperor Mi-Goreng exclaims "I have connections in the mossflower country who will pay a handsome sum for an army of stoats" Precisely $2300 per unit"
Lask replies "Ridiculous, I need those stoats to protect my gold you idiot, off with your head.
As Lask goes to remove his sword one of the warriors steps in the way. "Move out of my way or you'll die too" yells Lask.
A mercenary interrupts and says: "Relax Emperor Frildur, I can make them pay more than $2300 and your emperor is so tremendous that no warbands can even reach you" "If they attempt to attack you their armies will say you are far too big" "Selling the stoats for $2500 is a fantastic way to reduce costs, all these stoats are draining your economy and weighing you down" "If you aren't going to use them to make attacks, allow the peasants to buy them and fight among themselves" "We can feed both sides of the war beneath us and be richer than you ever imagined"

Lask pauses for a minute and thinks about the proposal.
"$2500 you say?" He smiles* "That is a very good price I must admit and I'm tired of those lazy cretins always wanting my gold"
"This is making me hungry, let us feast and save this for the morning"
#32
Reg Discussion / Re: Kill runs? Seriously?
April 13, 2018, 10:36:58 PM
FYI. Shoot hasn't been involved in the kills at all. Volkov you owe the man an apology.

I'm not too bothered about killing for now cos the emperor.

Volk n Sharpy is the only exception.
#33
Reg Discussion / Re: Emperor Lask Frildur
April 12, 2018, 10:36:45 PM
I finally get to pick on somebody my own size.
Thanks Mr Windhound.

I'm mapping out the best approach, who wants to join me? Send a clan request to Tyranny and we'll get this show on the road.
I'm using Rats so everyone with Rats is going to get hurt when I run turns. Avoid having rats unless you don't mind me killing them.
#34
Reg Discussion / Re: Kill runs? Seriously?
April 12, 2018, 10:26:48 PM
You are a vermin warlord, with one purpose: to conquer all!
::) :o :D ;)
Warlords killing warlords sounds incredibly toxic. Bwuahaha
Sure an Indy can bounce back in a single run but I kill for fun. They were using unlimited aid and no defense while the rest of the server is unclanned. It was a public service when ya think about it.
Being in a clan is low risk high reward.
The alternative was to waste multiple runs breaking volkov and all his free troops?

You can get revenge, you can be a sore loser or you can adapt.
On a side note, why do you always cry about it?
I'm over here kicking puppies while you're over there licking windows and watching in horror.

#35
Reg Discussion / Re: Kill runs? Seriously?
April 04, 2018, 01:36:21 PM
Teach the little scout a hard lesson about reserving turns if he's sitting low. They went afk for 15minutes tops. Rotflmfao
Seen them on100acres. Took an espy for 2turns and hit down to 25acres.
Its hilarious get a sense of humor. Happy birthday Sevz
#36
Reg Discussion / Re: Next Round
April 03, 2018, 07:34:46 AM
Emperors. Can you make one every month?easy medium and extreme. I want to kill them.
Also you need to bring back the market its gone again.
#37
Return to Redwall / Re: The Badger is here!
November 27, 2016, 07:30:49 PM
Quote from: Shadow on November 27, 2016, 07:16:35 PM
Round ends at the end of the month

Unfortunately I'm on the other side of the globe and it's currently midday the 28th in my time while redwall time is 6:15pm yesterday the 27th.
How hard would it be to make one of those countdown timers? Everybody would be able to prepare themselves better at the end of each round.
I'll see if I can figure out exactly how many hours are left.
#38
Return to Redwall / Re: The Badger is here!
November 27, 2016, 06:59:17 PM
Nobody is able to attack the badger regardless of if they can break or not. Doesn't allow the attacks or I would have killed it.
Change the rules so we can kill it and I'll have the thing dead when I buy up.
When does the round end? Today or something?
#39
Reg Discussion / Re: Dear Tyranny
November 15, 2016, 03:17:38 AM
If I knew that was you I wouldn't have been so brutal =( I'm sorry my lady I'll make it up to you for sure.
#40
Reg Discussion / Re: Bugs and official retirement
December 30, 2013, 11:55:25 PM
Quote from: windhound on December 29, 2013, 11:58:17 PM
Last time I feed the troll, promise.

Sevz dear, first and foremost, no one is selling RWL.  Ollie sure as hell isn't.
Second, you have never seen the code that runs this place.  No sane person would want anything to do with it unless you were paying very well.  The only reason people here at RWL have taken the mantel through the years is because they like the site and wanted to see it continue.  There aren't any coders left here to pass the torch to, and if you bring in someone they'll need to be talented enough, knowledgeable enough, and have the willpower and the time to properly understand what's here; what makes this site special.  If not you might as well buy a new domain name and some webspace and start from scratch. 
In fact, since you have all these wonderful ideas, plentiful time, and endless funds, why don't you?
 
Code wise, at this point it needs a complete rewrite.  The site's core is over 10 years old PHP code -- much of it depreciated.  I know you're not a coder, so let me put it plainly -- the code is so old a good portion of it will no longer be supported in the newest versions of PHP.  I've put out a few small fires due to this already.  PHP is such that webhosts generally won't run too old a version, its extraordinary insecure if unpatched.

So yeah.
I know its dumb replying to you.  You never really read what I type, only quote bits and pieces that serve your agenda.
I wish you the best of luck should you choose to go do your own thing; if you post here again about buying RWL or call the staff idiots (again) I'll ban you myself (as many others have wanted to do for a looong while).
Cheers.
At least now I can understand where you come from. Usually what you type come across as excuses for why you're lazy, this leans towards the explanation side of things. You need to custom train the next coder all the tricks of the trade you know.
The reason I call you an idiot is not because your ability to do the smart stuff but because you put your trust in Shadow and he's changed rwl for the worst. He was a toxic player for this community, leader suiciding and murdering whoever got anywhere for as long as we can all remember. You didn't need to be his enemy for him to do it to you. You gave the code to the most spiteful dishonorable player i've seen. A player I personally outsmart in his own game.
I watched the competition level die completely through this time and predicted it in advance but you all didn't listen to me. Most of you don't like me because I'm obnoxiously honest about my elitism, I don't like most of you because you're blatantly ignorant to your own intelligence, that's fine because if we met in real life you'd interpret it as charismatic, self motivated, confident and eager to help everyone around me see their own potential.

Now as I leave redwall I say thanks for the advice Windy. I'll work on my own version but as you know I don't have coding experience so learning from scratch will take time. As a parting gift to you I'll private message you an idea I have that could make you a multi millionaire in real life if you follow it up. What you do with the idea is beyond my control

Quote from: Gen. Volkov on December 30, 2013, 03:50:11 PM
I was literally Emperor until I got tired of it. There is no "making a come back", you were in first because I stopped caring.
You got emperor at times I was out of action, you lost your Emperor title to me and Marybell. I lost my emperor title to the 10minute bug and then the clan bug that makes it so I can't set war against people who can set war on me. Calling it bad sportsmanship when this already known bug isn't fixed is stupid of you aye? Sure it's funny to see someone you don't like go down but there's a better way than loopholes in codes.
It's definitely not Whoops fault that in 450 turns he can sack 50% of my accumulated networth over 10,000 turns producing it at 70 million leaders and 175 ratio on 400k and I can't really get him back equally. That's redwall.
The code will be a major bummer to anyone who legitimately builds themselves a big empire and gets taken down repeatedly by something like murder suicide or overpowered sacks. Fair enough if you make errors and get caught but if you play absolutely perfect the underneath can efficiently take you down.
So if I make a server that's better than this one, you old timers try stealing players from my playerbase I can come back and whoop them to oblivion anonymously so they know this game is demented.

In the wise words of Windy in my signature, coding out the problems is the solution. From all the suggestions/rants i've made over the time you know what needs to be done as the coder passing the flame on to the next coder give him a decent start.

Anyway I'm out of here. Hope you all have a great new year and sorry for the troubles I've caused. My networth can go to charity, @Krowdon, how do you feel about learning leader defense from Volkov and taking all my stuff? Differences aside that's his strong point he'd be a decent mentor for you. I reckon I owe you anyways because I poisoned your crops a few times for no reasons other than competition. Plus I secretly think you're cool.
#41
Reg Discussion / Re: Bugs and official retirement
December 29, 2013, 07:32:38 PM
Quote from: Gen. Volkov on December 27, 2013, 10:55:52 AM
I literally don't care enough about this subject to even PM you Shadow.

Bye Sevah, you will (not) be missed.
I expected as much from a poor sportsman like you who isn't even currently playing. I've beaten you constantly over the years, with my absence you can make a come back. Good luck Volkov, no hard feelings.

@Windy, thanks for the info, I'll see how I go contacting Ollie over the next few days.
If I become Redwalls new owner, my current retirement is still in effect. It doesn't change that but in my life when I don't like things I fix them instead of taking the easy route.
I'd prefer to buy redwall, appoint a professional coder and then advertise the site. Better choice than to leave knowing the code is shot to pieces and there's no one to undo what's been done.
#42
Turbo Discussion / Re: 3.0 Round 23 Immortalization
December 29, 2013, 07:03:40 PM
Sevz the Grim Ninja wins beta again.
That's the end of my reign. I'll no longer be sharing the dodgy dynamics of redwall with you all. It's been a long run here, lost count how many rounds i've won.

Good luck getting the code fixed. Maybe one day a new champion will emerge from the rubble and I'll come back to show you who's boss. Until then Godspeed redwallians.
#43
Reg Discussion / Bugs and official retirement
December 25, 2013, 06:34:45 PM
Same old bugs so I can't set war on enemies or alliances on allies. I've decided to just give up like the rest of the playerbase did.

@Shael, you're an idiot for leaving this game in the hands of lazy or incompetent admins. Can I simply buy the site from you and fix it?
@Windy, you've spent a long time on the job and clearly lost all ambitions to do anything. If I buy the site you're fired as an admin but more than welcome to play and be treated like you're just a player.
@Shadow, well done, against all logic the retarded administrators promoted you to do codework. You successfully ruined the turbo server and stopped being active. Went from being a toxic player to a toxic admin to leaving a pile of mess behind. If I buy rights to redwall you're fired and banned.

You 3 idiots don't care anyway so there's not much else to say. May aswell take redwall offline next time one of you feels like being active.
#44
Turbo Discussion / Re: Oh yeah a bug
October 06, 2013, 01:02:30 AM
Bugs again. This game is terrible you should restore the original turbo
#45
Reg Discussion / Re: Emperor Volkov
September 29, 2013, 11:03:30 AM
Quote from: Gen. Volkov on September 29, 2013, 07:39:04 AM
Stepping down, going on vacation. See you all in a few months.
More like Marybell and Sevz are brutal. Rushed the emperor volkov out of his top position almost overnight.

This was no accident. We break with stoats. Smash his land so low that +60million leaders have no chance, instead of just letting them die a portion were captured for offensive missions.
The Emperor logs on and cringes when he sees the damages. In a flurry to recover a decent ratio he attacks for land and drops the excess acres.
This is not enough against an overflowing leaderer no no no. The wizard (me) murders the unprotect ratio of the emperor. Once the opening appears cash is stolen and food is poisened. An end of an era has passed. The decree's of the docile have ceased lets rejoice by sending a private message to 7 saying corndogs are terrible even if you like corndogs.

No security for Agencies networth the clan must go into hiding or be utterly destroyed.
You can thank us later. Be Well and Foreign Aid Wins