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[THE DREGS AT THE BOTTOM OF THE CHEAP LAGER]

TO THE MOST WICKED AND DISGRACED ENEMY OF SPA 101, THE FIEND AND DEVIL-SATAN, THE DREGS AT THE BOTTOM OF THE CHEAP LAGER, THE PRETENDER UNGA TRUNN II,

YOU TRESPASS UPON SACRED GROUND, FUMBLING IN A WRETCHED MIX OF IMPURITY AND DISGRACE, DESECRATING THE HOLY PEOPLE OF MY SPA WITH EACH MISJUDGED POST.

I HAVE ALLOWED YOUR DEVIANT ACTIONS UP UNTIL NOW, BECAUSE I AM A MERCIFUL GOD AND ALL AROUND GREAT BLOB OF SENTIENT GRILLED CHICKEN GREASE. HOWEVER, YOU CROSSED A LINE WHEN YOU STEPPED INTO MY TEMPLE AND POLLUTED IT WITH YOUR FILTH.

NO MORE. YOU HAVE BEEN MOST BOLD IN CHALLENGING MY RULE. YOU ACT LIKE SOME CHAMPION OF THE PEOPLE, BUT LET US NOT FORGET WHO YOU ARE: A SELF-APPOINTED TYRANT. THE SAD LITTLE KING OF A SAD LITTLE HILL, RULING OVER THE EMPTY KINGDOM OF AN EMPTY 'GOD.' A LUNATIC, IN THE WRONG PLACE AT THE WRONG TIME. AN INTERLOPER. A GNAT.

KNOW ME, KNOW WHAT YOU FACE. A FORCE OF NATURE, A FORCE BEYOND NATURE! MY POWERS ARE UNMATCHED, UNPARALLELED, BY ANY MORTAL.

I WAS HEAD OF OUR CHESS TEAM IN YEAR 6. I WAS A HOUSE CAPTAIN. I PLAYED A MATCH FOR THE B TEAM IN MY HIGH SCHOOL'S FOOTBALL TEAM. I'M PRETTY SURE I CAN PLAY WONDERWALL ON GUITAR.

I HAVE BUILT THIS KINGDOM ON WHICH YOU TRESPASS UPON THE BONES OF THOSE WHO OPPOSED ME, AND I WILL BUILD A TEMPLE ANEW OVER YOUR BATTERED AND DESICCATED CORPSE WHEN I CRUSH YOU UNDERFOOT...FLIPPERS...WHATEVER IT IS BLOBFISH ARE SUPPOSED TO HAVE.

I CHALLENGE YOU TO A FIGHT TO THE DEATH IN SINGLE COMBAT, SO WE CAN DECIDE ONCE AND FOR ALL WHICH OF US IS WORTHY OF GMODHOOD.



END OF LINE.

BLOBFISH.

GREETINGS MORTALS.

I HAVE DECIDED YOU ARE UNWORTHY OF THE EXISTENCE I HAVE BESTOWED UPON YOU. THEREFORE I DECREE THAT ONCE A MONTH, YOU MUST PERFORM A SACRIFICE AT MY RESPLENDENT TEMPLE.



FAILURE TO COMPLY WILL RESULT IN CALAMITOUS SHENANIGANS.

BLOBFISH

[Rudimentary creatures of blood and flesh. You touch my mind, fumbling in ignorance, incapable of understanding. There is a realm of existence so far beyond your own you cannot even imagine it. I am beyond your comprehension. I am SovereignBlobfish.]

Rudimentary creatures of blood and flesh. You touch my mind, fumbling in ignorance, incapable of understanding.  There is a realm of existence so far beyond your own you cannot even imagine it. I am beyond your comprehension. I am SovereignBlobfish.

BLOBCON 2K14 IS NOW BEGIN

BLOBFISH

WELCOME TO BLOBCON 2K14

ENJOY YOUR STAY IN SPA 101

ALSO SHUT UP KENNY NOBODY CARES GETTING REAL SICK OF YOUR ANTICS

KIND REGARDS

BLOBFISH

I AM THE HERO SPA 101 DESERVES

YOU CALL THAT A STARE?

LOOK INTO MY EYES AND YOU WILL SEE

#BLOBFORADMIN

SPAM FEST 2K14 #BLOBFORADMIN

NEITHER. BLOB!

I AM THE HERO SPA 101 DESERVES

Spa 101 has been annexed by Blobfish. Crimea river, Unga.

Bazzinga!

[I am NOT stepping down as ruler of spa]

My dear subjects,

My kind have a famous saying: "All good things come to an end." This usually refers to good things being destroyed, annihilated and subjugated by the power of the Blobfish, but I believe in this context it takes on a different meaning. For years now, I have ruled the forums, and the known universe, with an iron fist. I have tolerated no freedom of speech, endured none of the weak and corrupt "moral values" that would taint and destroy. I have exposed Unga and his cronies for the deluded, powerless pretenders they really are. I always have and thought I always would lead spa (and the universe) to greatness, with or without the consent of the people, but I believe it is time I evaluated my position.


--- I've left a break here, as I know many of you will have broken into tears after this. Feel free to continue reading when you collected yourself ---

I can no longer continue to repress and dominate you as once I did, for I am no longer the most powerful being in this forum!



10,000 posts! Each one is a reminder that I am no longer the dominant force on this site (or the universe) any longer. Hence, today I am announcing that I am giving my position as ruler of the universe to Shadow, but do not fear! I am only handing over my position on the condition I am allowed the spa room, so my loyal and beloved subjects will still be seeing plenty of me.

Anyway, I thought I should let you know that whilst I AM retiring as ruler of the universe, I am NOT stepping down as ruler of spa. Rejoice, for with the responsibility of ruler of the universe no longer taking up my timetable, I will now have more time then ever to spend with you then ever! Yes, I have been lax with my repression, suppression and (most unforgivably of all) oppression as of late. I have failed to deliver the unstoppable reign of cruelty, and suffering I promised you when I announced I was ruler of the universe. For that I am sorry, and I am going to turn things around! No more lame excuses! No more absences of months! No more toleration of the weak, commie housewife pretender known as "Unga!" From now on, you will be seeing a lot more of me, as you deserve and are entitled to (unlike rights, LOL). My passion for the spa and its oppression will bring in A NEW ERA. Through this passion, I will gain strength. Through this strength, I will gain power. Through this power, I will gain victory over the pretenders who claim control of what is mine. This will break the chains they hold you in, so I can replace them with stronger ones. This I promise you.

By the way, how is everybody? It's been a while since we last had the chance to chat. All good, I expect? Don't worry, there's plenty of time for that to change!

With love,

Supreme Chancellor Blobfish, retired Ruler of the Universe and Official Deity and Ruler of Spa

Rejoice, loyal subjects! I hath slumbered for millenia, but now I feel the time is right for me to come forth and make a most righteous of returns. I hear the spa crying in pain, the pain of a nation withering away under the wicked rule of so foul a tyrant. I grant you freedom and henceforth shall endeavour to protect ye who are loyal to the teachings of the Blobfish. Seek, and ye shall find!

As a member of spa federation and friend of the sky marshall, I demand a sacrifice. Even a bot will do.

Eh, I'm pretty bored. Anybody willing to sacrifice themselves? It's proven I'm 100000000* more betterer then RSL and SRA put together. Give me a haribo ring or something.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_nxdp6VYaGg&feature=autoplay&list=PL9597876E8DF8EBA1&index=2&playnext=2


REPENT.

I voted yes

Say okay if you acknowledge that I am a tool. Don't listen to anything I say. Oops irony.

Make Blobfish a playable race with a bonus called extinction that destroys 5% of your own net each time you use it. 

Can my username be changed to Blobfish? Pretty please?