Now Cracks a Noble Heart

[RazorClaw]

I have an announcement to make: an announcement that is sure to shake you to the furthest depths of your being, one that will delve to the very center of your heart, and burst outward, flooding your veins with the icy waters of desperation and grief. You may have suspected it before, and even now I am certain that your sense of impending tragedy is culminating to an horrific climax. Unfortunately, I cannot relieve you of this pain, but rather must intensify it.



I am leaving RWL. Forever.



I know, even as you read that terrible sentence, no doubt the ducts of tears opened and their bitter, salty paths made way to your keyboard, creating Venetian canals of sorrow in it. You surely threw up your arms, saying, "Razor, no, no, please no, how could you leave me? I thought things were getting better, I thought we were getting better! What were all of those heartfelt vows of trust and fidelity? Was that some sort of morbid comfort for the soon-to-depart?" or something like that. You surely, even now, can scarcely read the words that I have sadly and slowly typed into this topic, for the blur of vision created by the tears in your eyes. But even as you reach for a tissue, you pause, and the thought comes to you: "for what purpose would I see? Why, why would I clear these, these mourning tears, from my eyes when never again shall I lay sight upon a ridiculously amusing turn-of-phrase, denials of homosexuality to Irishmen, or that Men Without Hats graphic? WHERE SHALL I GET MEN WITHOUT HATS? WHERE?!?!?!? TELL ME! darn you, RazorClaw, darn you to Hell!" or something like that.

But for all your grief, I cannot stay. As you have no doubt noticed, and been mightily distraught by, I have not posted regularly these last few, short years. I must finally confess to you, before I go, the reason for this.



After receiving my dishonorable discharge from Mossad, narrowly avoiding federal prosecution for tax evasion and arms dealing (by which I mean selling arms. like, literally, arms. human arms.), and getting my internship with a professional dealer of Victorian Erotica, I finally hit rock bottom. I fell into depression, financial disarray, and several public water fountains. I knew no purpose, I knew no joy, I knew only the endless monotony of the life of a cockney chimneysweep/graphics designer. I thought there was no way out.


But then, one day, as I stared at my bookshelf, I found the answer. I found a crutch with which I could cope, and eventually rehabilitate. Just... sitting there, among the books and CDs, as if it were one of them -- as if it were mundane. But this was no ordinary object, oh no. It was simple. White and pure, save for the title, in five letters. I think you know the letters of which I speak.

Spice.

How could I not have seen it before? These Girls had all the answers I had been searching for in the depths of my soul, but had been too scared to find. With introspective intellectual probes like, "tell me what you want, what you really really want," I was forced to stop running away from myself and face the beast within. What did I really want, I wondered, and do I "really really" want that? That was a long week indeed, filled with shady cafes, underground philosophers' club meetings, and rare narcotics.

Long story short, I'm moving to Costa Rica to poledance. Later.

[Death]

This could very well be the second best post I have ever seen.

[Shadow]

Razorcube, no! I don't think RWL can survive such a dark time as would be upon us without your angelic presence here to brighten our days. Who would make fun of all the dramatic new players who make leaving posts to garner sympathy from the oldbies? (although I must admit, I may have to vist Costa Rica in the near future). Couldn't you poledance and play RWL at the same time? Imagine that...

[The Lady Shael]

*seconds Death* This is definitely the best post I have ever seen on RWL, save for Raine's "Shael loves me" topic.

And Razor CAN'T leave, he just came back! =(

[kell]

hats off to the pink base player bravo

[Gen. Volkov]

Ok, that truly rocked the socks. Definitely one of the most entertaining posts I've ever read.

Razor, you know you can't leave after that one. LOL.

[Holby]

That was grand, good show.

[RazorClaw]

(although I must admit, I may have to vist Costa Rica in the near future). Couldn't you poledance and play RWL at the same time? Imagine that...

And that brings the total number of times I've been hit on by people from the internet to... *counts tallies* somewhere around four thousand.

But yeah. Thanks all for the praise. It's amazing what happens when you're bored, on the internet, and watching Wannabe on youtube for the fifth consecutive time.

[Shadow]

I hope you know I was joking lol

[RazorClaw]

"Joking"?!?!?!? I have not heard of this "joking"! What foul sorcery be this?