The Federation and You!

[Camaclue]

Have you ever wanted to kick communist rump?You want to make some money by shooting a gun? Do you just want to kill people and do it legally? Then being a soldier is for YOU! Just sign up and prepare for the training of a LIFETIME*.

To show you how you become part of the ranks of the Federation, Billy here will be our example. Wave to the camera Billy. Oh, just look at him, all excited to get into action. Now, before you begin your training, you must answer some simple questions. What's that Billy? You answered your questions on a document before coming here? That's great! Now you can get a little bit further in line!

Now that Billy has been shipped off to one of our many boot camps, his training may begin. It seems Billy here wasn't ready for the extreme exercise routines. Poor boy broke three ligaments. Well that's fine, he'll be fit as a fiddle in no time at all! And at the end of the day, all soldiers get a one course meal and beds that will inject them with fluids that will make them strong as an ox. Look at Billy here after a whole week! He's gotten some muscle and he's ready for stage 2 of his training!

Stage 2 of your training is highly confidential, but look here after Billy's training in Stage 2! That fine young man can now shoot every single type of weapon without a hitch. And now, with a smile on his face and a gun in his hands, Billy can get into the action!
*ATTENTION: Training might actually take a lifetime.

This has been the United Spa Federation's Public Service Announcement on recruitment. Thank you for your time.

[Ungatt Trunn II]

This message is approved by your commander.

The content was good because when I read it, I did so in an old timey public service announcement voice without even meaning to. 

[Camaclue]

The content was good because when I read it, I did so in an old timey public service announcement voice without even meaning to. 

Old timey PSA voice guy is best PSA voice guy.

[Ungatt Trunn II]

You know that classy mother duck was sipping scotch and smoking a cigar when he recorded that PSA.

[Camaclue]

And he was so classy that he talked while sipping and never even missed a beat.

[Ungatt Trunn II]

It's a lost art. People try that now and they end up spilling scotch all over themselves they the ignorant [apparentlytheforumsdon'thaveacensoredversionofthisword] they are. 

[Wordsarecool]

-SEDITIOUS CONTENT REMOVED-

[Firetooth]

Here's the deal, I'll join the Federation if they make a statue of me.

[Ungatt Trunn II]

Meh. I honestly think we can do without.  :wink:

[stormsight]

i already have all this training can i come in at a higher paygrade

[Ungatt Trunn II]

Sure, sure. What kind of job are you looking for in our military?

[stormsight]

well
i am good at guns and boats
i am also good at gunboats
maybe even boatguns too

[Ungatt Trunn II]

Okay. Let's make this simple. What is the title, description, and alphanumeric designation for your real life job (if those even exist for coast guard I don't know)

[stormsight]

um
i am a third class gunners mate
the alphanumeric thing lost me i dont know if u are looking for my opfac or wat probs not tho

[Ungatt Trunn II]

MILITARY INTELLIGENCE