Viking Invasion RP (Closed)

[Flitchaye Warrior]

(Here it is. The soon to be oddest role-play)

[Camaclue]

The great and unusually handsome Martin Matin walked up to the gates of Redwall Abbey and gracefully knocked on the wooden gate. The doors opened up a bit to reveal a squirrel, looking at the great and handsome figure before her. "Wot tha bloody hall puked you heer?" Martin looked at her, confused. "Uh, what did you say m'lady?" She scoffed and opened the gates further. "I will repeat meself, you bloody deaf oaf. Wot the bloody hall upchucked you on tha front gate of our Abbey, you?"

VIKINGS AND HEROES
Chapter 1

[stormsight]

"So I sez to 'im, 'How come you have a hawk feather in yer cap, Mister Weasel?"
Look, here are two Redwallers. One is a fattish hedgehog with a half-full pint in his left paw. The other is a huge otter wearing a ridiculous hat, who appears to be drinking from a bucket. The otter is leaning against a keg.
"An' then wut 'appened?"
They appear to be quite drunk in the middle of the afternoon, and have set up to enjoy the baking summer heat in the middle of the Abbey grounds.
"So then 'e sez 'Because the hawk feather is a sign o' kingship, yer honor."
The otter appears to be telling a story, which the hedgehog is fascinated by. A nearby dibbun attempts to throw a tomato at them and misses. Neither notices.
"An' then I took the feather and there was a fight."

Both pause to take a drink. The otter appears to notice the squashed tomato, stares for a minute, and shrugs. The hedgehog clears his throat loudly.
"So y' toke tha father."
The otter nods.
"And then they made me their king."

Both pause and stare over at the gate suddenly. There is some yelling going on. After a moment the otter pounds the rest of his bucket and weaves his way over to the gate, humming brightly. The hedgehog presently follows along, still holding a now-empty mug in his paw.
"A mouse!" the otter states brightly after staring for a long minute. The hedgehog shakes his head.
"Na, na, a squirl."
"No, a mouse! See, right thar, he's got um..he's got.."
What the mouse has seems to evade the otter. The hedgehog clears his throat.
"S'um, a dress. Aye."
"Aye," the otter says. "A dress."

[Camaclue]

"This is a one-of-a-kind wool tunic made from the greatest weavers in my hometown!" The mouse yelled at the squrrelmaid. She quickly grabbed the neck of the shirt, pulling Martin in. "This is a COTTON shirt, you bloody arse. Now either go inside or get out of my face!", and to top it off, she threw him onto the ground. Martin yelled back, "How dare you dirty a hero's clothing!". The yet-to-be-named(her name is Fresca Beech) squirrel laughed and quickly lashed back "Wot kinda hero complains 'bout BLOODY CLOTHES!?"

[Flitchaye Warrior]

Meanwhile somewhere in the western sea:
Ivan was in a foul mood. They were far behind schedule and had lost their mast and had to row all the way. To pass the time he played capture the king with his 3rd in command. "How long do you reckon before we're there?", he asked.

[Camaclue]

"Well, sire, there's a big ol' mountain in the horizon, so hopefully we'll be there in a few days." the short, chubby weasel told him, moving a piece up. "So... how do we play this again?" he commented, still figuring out the basics of this cryptic game.

Meanwhile, back at the mountain, the Long Patrol was finally home after a long weeks of battling savage fish and warring with annoying bugs. One of them, a tall, lean hare with graying hair, lead the group. "All right, you mongrels, we're here. If anyone has a complaint about the pointlessness of the travel, please raise your paw." Immediately, most of the group raised their paws, even the more experienced hares. Drubbish, the gray haired hare who we were talking about, scowled at them, and simply left to talk with the Badger Lord. There was something more important than complaints on hiss mind.

[Flitchaye Warrior]

Somewhere on the road to the abbey:

Gaius Marius and his troops had been marching for a long time searching for Redwall Abbey when a scout came back and reported to Marius that Redwall Abbet was off in the distance. Marius ordered his men(also known as "Marius's Mules") into the forest. "Alright men keep your heads down and be quiet at all times," Marius told them. Then turned to his officers and asked, "What do you think they have for a garrison at Redwall?"

[Krowdon]

Salamandastron:
Badger Lord Cyphel was at the forge window, staring blankly off across the sea. He had barely slept a wink the night before, because of the nightmares. These last few were the most horrifying, and Cyphel found himself considering that they might actually be omens. When Drubbish returned, he'd have to meet with him and discuss his dreams. Drubbish would be able to tell him what they meant.

Somewhere in the western sea:
Ivan's Second in command, Dræden, came back up from belowdecks where he had been supervising the rowers. He approached Ivan and waited for his superior to acknowledge his presence.

Somewhere on the road to the abbey:
One of the officers raised her paw. "Sir, I've heard a few tales about Redwall. I think you ought to hear them."

[Flitchaye Warrior]

((I forgot to mention that this a longboat. all the rowers are above deck but whatever))

In the western sea:

"Well look who decided to drop in. Make your report."

On the road to the abbey:

" Alright speak your piece Captain."

[Krowdon]

In the western seas:
"Cap'n. Bit a disturbance with d'rowers. Ended up with two dead. How much longer d'we gotta sail fer?"

The road to the Abbey:
Krowdon makes her way past the other officers so she's directly in front of Gaius. " My father used to tell me stories of the Redwall Abbey place. He said that there have been warlords and armies, much stronger than our own, who have attempted to conquer it and failed. Its also rumored to have a weapon of great beauty and power. Of course, those tales are from seasons long past. You know what I think, Lord Gaius? I think over the seasons, they've gone soft. I want to attack."

[Flitchaye Warrior]

Western Sea:
"We'll keep sailing just till we reach the shore near that mountain. Ye say two died, how did they die?"

Road to the abbey:
"Yes but did they have Testudo like us? No, all they had were a bunch of idiots who were sent to hellgates by their stupidity! Now march!"

((added some things from the redwall universe. just tell me if I have to take 'em out.))

[Krowdon]

Western Sea:
"Three of 'em started fightin' each other. One took an oar to d'back a his neck. snapped right in 'alf. Other one got choked. The feller who survived, I 'ad 'im tied up."

On The read to the Abbey:
Testudo? That was his strategy? Krowdon though Gaius was sorely mistaken if he thought that was all he was going to need to conquer the Abbey. She ran up to where her leader was, and Kept pace beside him. "Gaius, dont you think we need to gather more intelligence before just, attacking?"

[Flitchaye Warrior]

Western Sea:
"Well what are ye waiting for? Bring 'em in!"

On Road to the Abbey:
"What makes you say that? And besides if the Testudo fails we can use our siege equipment."

((it's funny that the wolf seems smarter than the weasel))

[Krowdon]

(( Krowdon is a Fox.))

Western Sea
Dræden whistles, and two other crew members drag a weasel up onto the top deck. The weasel spots Ivan, and spits on the ground to share his distaste for his leader.

The road to the Abbey
"Dont you want to know for certain what sort of creatures these Abbeybeasts are? If they have any warriors? I mean, for all we know, they have siege equipment too, and far outnumber us."

[Flitchaye Warrior]

((I not talking about yer Krowdon I was talking Ivan about because he is a wolf))

Western Sea:
Ivan sees the weasel spit and asks,"Do ye want to feed the fishes with your cold, dead body? Because I arrange that." Draws battleaxe from belt. "Now start talkin'...worm!"

Road to the Abbey:
"What makes you say they've got siege engines? And besides you said yourself that you wanted to attack because you thought they had all gone soft."

((can we call the weasel Thrane?))